ALBUMS
- A Dead and Aimless Hum.
- To Hold The Ripened Sun
- Destruction/Breathing/Healing
- Amare
A DEAD AND AIMLESS HUM.
PATHEA
the mothers were crying alone with silver spoons
pulled out their hair
and the fathers were dirt and the children were dying out
and nothing was heard in spite of them crying out
and the rivers were burning as waters came flooding in
drowning the frail
and a heat that no one had known dried up our mouths
we begged, we fought, but the war had starved us out
Hum
i hope you don't resent
i hope you will not mind
that i'm leaving tomorrow
oh, i trust you not to tell
my heart is a river
a dead and aimless hum
it calls me to follow
oh, it wants to take me home
when i go
there will be nothing left of me
i will leave nothing behind
when i go
someone else can take my seat
i want no one to cry
as if i was never even there
as if i was never in your heart
lay my memory down
i promise
i promise it will be okay.
SOL
i'll help you bear this child
a floodling, a fucker
become the worthless one
fragile and naked
sol, i exist in your love
sol, i exist in your love
in this death
i see you
in my blood
i see you
in others
i see you
earth mother
i feel you
(she'll devour us all)
i push through your veil of fire
rest in your flesh
eclipse my heart's desire
destroy the radiance
HYALINE
hang your head low, my darling
hang your head low, my darling
hang your head low, my darling
or it takes you
your time is coming, my darling
the blade is falling, my darling
you'd better start burying yourself alive
and they kneel
one after the other
silent as they fall
hyaline
we were never meant to last
in the silent night
heaven comes down to me
CURL
this earth is stark
crooked and toothed
i'm filled with bile
see it swelling over
i hate that i adore
the way you curl in me
i want to burn your house down
five fingers fold
reach around your vein
you won't want to know
but i'll stay till morning
see my shadow
in the mire
losing faces and traces of meaning
deep in the waste of the earth
we come undone
CHERUBIAN HAND
cherubian hand
lay down in the center of me
unveil my love
fill me up with stones
i'm carving a bridge to the real world
carving a bridge to the real world
from my flesh, over the water
from my flesh, over and over
cherubian hand
swallow down the longing
your shape haunts my bed
comes in dreamless nights
cherubian hand
wasted affection
let my arms enshroud you
faceless and fair
i'm carving a bridge to the real world
carving a bridge to the real world
from my flesh, over the water
from my flesh, over and over
AXHIDE
i've got you under my fingernails
and stains on my arms
i've got a thousand heads
and the taste of blood on my tongue
i am a flightless child
and a fucker with no name
i am a bastard born of a wolf
misshapen by pray
we're moving
but i don't know where we're going
but i don't know where we're going
we're losing ourselves
i've bled on the dullest edge of your dream
fallen off the earth
i've sat here and waited for life to begin
eroding my worth
we're moving
but i don't know where we're going
but i don't know where we're going
we're losing ourselves
PASO FINO
shiver
hollow
breathe another time
the white horse rides again
ender
giver
regurgitate destruction
deathless other
i want to know
deathless saint
i want to be endless
there is no house that can save you from this death
step
gentle gait
she births the winter
she makes the fire
deathless other
i want to know
deathless saint
i want to be endless
VEINS
veins become roads
stretching wide below
never grow old
we stay deadlocked
take my hand
true red bone
take my hand
'til we forget where we've been
grayest wastelands
endless roads
time won't take us home
away from these dying halls
take my hand
true red bone
take my hand
'til we forget where we've been
and in the end
there is only you and me
A BETTER PLACE
i have seen a better place
it came with its hands open
eyes wide in desire
reaching out to me with phantom limbs
pale like gossamer
saying
hold me now like you never could
step into my arms
hold me now like you never could
forget the pain
forget the pain
A DISINTEGRATION
sit down
turn to dust
sit down.
To HOLD THE RIPENED SUN
WE'LL BE LIFTING OUR ARMS TO THE SKY IN JOY AND WONDER
head in the ground and feet to sunrise
tongue in the festering wounds
heaving in a field of shit and flowers
the sun shines only for you
when you see the light again
I hope it fucking burns your eyes
when you find your love again
I hope it fucking hurts
like the marks that you watched them cut
on innocent flesh
know that when you die
we'll be lifting our arms to the sky in joy and wonder
THE HOLLOWING OF GIRLS
hollow daughter
slow dance towards the dark
fingertips in the mud
savage savior
she kisses me with teeth
writes her sins on my lips
opened up
displayed to heaven
heads conjoined, empty things
turn me inside out.
HOURS
bodies in summer
carrion in rivers
sweet smell of rot in the air
blood on the lips again
heavy heads
death is all around
in the summer
we watch the world unfurl
swelling up with bile
bleeding milk onto the grass
lying down with a smile
baring teeth covered in sap
baby, stay for a while
as the day heaves and turns
and the sun never dies
as the leaden ocean burns
FASCIA
sense of distension
you will be someone again someday
wearing your face wrong
distantly human
from the outside in
curling procession
shedding a visage
a sense of self
lost in division
someone is you now
from the outside in
IRTI
kolme askelta taaksepäin
takaisin valosta
viisi virstaa vasempaan
järjen talosta
nielemme tiedon ja nielemme sanat väsyneet
valheiden valossa vääntyvät varjomme hiljaa
peitä silmät sokeat
leiki, leiki tietäväistä
viisas virkkoo nopeaan
riuhtoo irti langanpäistä
SHRINES
she walks the air again
like a holy woman
soft is her wake
pale life lingering in her hair
grows tall (and taller still)
baby lie down
baby lie down here with me
let the shrines weigh down
let our bodies fade
HALFSORROW
we've been hung out to dry
swaying in the wind like, swaying in the wind like
wasted exuviae
needless most of our deeds
smaller now in real life, smaller now in real life
don't say you're harder on the outside, harder on the outside
when I tear at you
you know we're rotting from the inside, rotting from the inside out
and you're wasting your breath
don't bother weighing the whys
it's all in the design, it's all in the design
the dirt that gave birth to us
shame marks our every high
fire walks by our side, fire walks by our side (and it can't get away)
TO HOLD THE RIPENED SUN
cruel is the sun
in my eyes
it boils beneath my tongue
lift my wings up high
so I can revere you
break my body in two
but do it gently
lie just to be kind
let me down quietly
let me sink
and the sun is ripe in my grasp
DESTRUCTION/BREATHING/HEALING
LUNGS
breathing the blade
the blackened air
extending striae mark your burgeoning
you wear your antipathy like a king wears his crown
silver lungs sat on your shoulders
you're growing older
your life gets smaller
you're spilling over
watch it rot
sucking in air like you don't give a shit about the welt in the sky and the death that you disavow
all the high hopes that tried to manifest somehow
are lost in your lungs
lost in your lungs
you're clothed in your euphoric veil
I'm trying to make life in some other way
watch as these hands wrap tight around your neck
what is it you bleed for?
repetition of an episodic play
clapping hands and smiling like there's no hell to pay
all the actors are dead, director's been lapidated
go ahead and bow
I'm losing my sympathy
day by day
fusing faces
GIVER
hope is a stain in a broken mirror
so ignore everything
let your head lie
fistfuls of prayers won't undo anything out here
they curl back to the womb
I'm not a
vessel
symbol
an angel
in satan
giver
taken
woman
woman with no name
no self to take away
the other, the mother
so I turn away
back to the…
IN WAVES
like light and sound
we oscillate
in waves
crashing over, crashing into the dark
in waves
i sail by all these figures while eradication blooms
not held down by what hinders all life
free from the somatic self
crashing over, crashing into the dark
in waves
nothing perforates
crushing life
healing
healing
CATHERINE WHEEL
divine son
I love you like a car without breaks loves a wall
body wide open
inevitable and crushing
you leave me in ribbons, hanging off trees
do whatever you want with whatever is left
and my will is yours
all I know is true
is hanging by a thread I've tied to you
you're facing away
biting your tongue
you leave me in ribbons, hanging off trees
do whatever you want with whatever is left
and my will is yours
all I am
is what you want me to be
AMARE
TITANIA
running through the tide
chasing along, I let
the water take me
water take me
rushing in
like blood
moon in my veins
cutting through the quiet
undone by you, undone in violent mania
nascent and new, pulled in by my Titania
water, take me
COILED
I’ve got my body in a slow contortion
constrained, strung tight
I hold my head out in a clean convulsion
a shape that I can’t unbind
heavy again
I wanna be nerveless
I wanna go dark
heavy again
I wanna be moved by you
autodestructing my range of motion
all I am is ineffectual
and vertebrae by vertebrae I cut the cord
sow my shame into the bitter ground
forever coiling (coiled and alone, coiled and alone)
pitch-black void of a soul
coiled again and again
I wanna be nerveless (coiled and alone, coiled and alone)
heavy again
I wanna be nerveless
I wanna go dark
heavy again
I wanna be moved by you
COILED
it’s alright if you lie
‘cause you’re the new one
fresh and fake
we can ride
the way you want to be ripe
hush, hush
change with the nights
raw upon your deathbed
if you’d like I can help you fly
mayfly
come see
my love
haunt me again
ever foreign
oh, my love
hush
high
violent
aching
taste
love
for hours
AIR
turn to me
and love me like you lacerate
just hold me down like I don’t need
air
air
air
air
dirt and wine
are running through our open veins
like rivers rupturing the cold
air
air
air
air
don’t turn your eyes
I’ve given once, I’ll give again
you know I need you like I need
air
air
air
air
I want
air
breathing fumes in
fuck whatever may come
turn to me
and love me like you lacerate
just hold me down like I don’t need
air
air
air
air
KUCHIZUKE
sharp and tempted
bright son of violence
I see your shame open wide like a flower
I want to continue to burn
leave me headless
wide-eyed and mindless
let me contort to the dark in your mind
I want to continue to burn
pale and fragmented
white sun of silence
I know its shine is for us to devour
and I want to continue to burn
raw hands that shake
aborted intake
need like a blade
cut me open with hunger
I want to continue to burn
let this be more
than what my body will hold
make your home In the emptiness straining my jaws
come lay me out
and make my body break for yours
make your home In the emptiness straining my jaws
let this be more
TO BE LOVED
life flows past without sound
things are sloughing off of me like shreds unwound
standing there, adored in your air
your mouth is broken but the words keep spilling out
“I wish I was
better and stronger
to hold you to me
I wish I was
wiser and older
to be what you seek”
but why would you leave me?
you’ve seen too much of it
nobody else will care
why would you leave me?
you’ve seen too much of it
nobody else will care
MESSIAH
eden coming
with knives for unbelievers
tide is rising
her laugh like violence, she says
“I’ll cleanse your blood with mine
enter and this fire will rise”
I’ll lay me down In the teeth of my messiah
edges blurring out
of pressure and desire
hounds are hunting
for prey in our elysium
the moon is falling
immense and crimson, she says
“I’ll take your heart in mine
enter and the dogs will bite”
I’ll lay me down In the teeth of my messiah
edges blurring out
of pressure and desire
I’ll lay me down In the teeth of my messiah
(I’ll lay me down)
edges blurring out
(I’ll lay me down)
in the teeth of my messiah
HOLY SOIL
all I wanted was love
to be watered in the holiest of soils
all those deified here
die here, on broken glass
twisted metal holding limbs in flightless forms
all those deified here
die here
twisted metal holding limbs in flightless forms
all I wanted was love
all I wanted was love