ALBUMS

  • A Dead and Aimless Hum.
  • To Hold The Ripened Sun
  • Destruction/Breathing/Healing
  • Amare

A DEAD AND AIMLESS HUM.

PATHEA

 

the mothers were crying alone with silver spoons 
pulled out their hair 
and the fathers were dirt and the children were dying out 
and nothing was heard in spite of them crying out 

and the rivers were burning as waters came flooding in 
drowning the frail 
and a heat that no one had known dried up our mouths 
we begged, we fought, but the war had starved us out

 

Hum

 

i hope you don't resent 
i hope you will not mind 
that i'm leaving tomorrow 
oh, i trust you not to tell 

my heart is a river 
a dead and aimless hum 
it calls me to follow 
oh, it wants to take me home 

when i go 
there will be nothing left of me 
i will leave nothing behind 

when i go 
someone else can take my seat 
i want no one to cry 

as if i was never even there 
as if i was never in your heart 
lay my memory down 
i promise 
i promise it will be okay.

 

SOL

 

i'll help you bear this child 
a floodling, a fucker 
become the worthless one 
fragile and naked 

sol, i exist in your love 
sol, i exist in your love 

in this death 
i see you 
in my blood 
i see you 
in others 
i see you 
earth mother 
i feel you 

(she'll devour us all) 

i push through your veil of fire 
rest in your flesh 
eclipse my heart's desire 
destroy the radiance

 

HYALINE

 

hang your head low, my darling 
hang your head low, my darling 
hang your head low, my darling 
or it takes you 

your time is coming, my darling 
the blade is falling, my darling 
you'd better start burying yourself alive 

and they kneel 
one after the other 
silent as they fall 

hyaline 
we were never meant to last 

in the silent night 
heaven comes down to me

 

CURL

 

this earth is stark 
crooked and toothed 
i'm filled with bile 
see it swelling over 

i hate that i adore 
the way you curl in me 
i want to burn your house down 

five fingers fold 
reach around your vein 
you won't want to know 
but i'll stay till morning 

see my shadow 
in the mire 
losing faces and traces of meaning 
deep in the waste of the earth 
we come undone

 

CHERUBIAN HAND

 

cherubian hand 
lay down in the center of me 
unveil my love 
fill me up with stones 

i'm carving a bridge to the real world 
carving a bridge to the real world 
from my flesh, over the water 
from my flesh, over and over 

cherubian hand 
swallow down the longing 
your shape haunts my bed 
comes in dreamless nights 

cherubian hand 
wasted affection 
let my arms enshroud you 
faceless and fair 

i'm carving a bridge to the real world 
carving a bridge to the real world 
from my flesh, over the water 
from my flesh, over and over

 

AXHIDE

 

i've got you under my fingernails 
and stains on my arms 
i've got a thousand heads 
and the taste of blood on my tongue 

i am a flightless child 
and a fucker with no name 
i am a bastard born of a wolf 
misshapen by pray 

we're moving 
but i don't know where we're going 
but i don't know where we're going 
we're losing ourselves 

i've bled on the dullest edge of your dream 
fallen off the earth 
i've sat here and waited for life to begin 
eroding my worth 

we're moving 
but i don't know where we're going 
but i don't know where we're going 
we're losing ourselves

 

PASO FINO

 

shiver 
hollow 
breathe another time 
the white horse rides again 

ender 
giver 
regurgitate destruction 

deathless other 
i want to know 
deathless saint 
i want to be endless 

there is no house that can save you from this death 

step 
gentle gait 
she births the winter 
she makes the fire 

deathless other 
i want to know 
deathless saint 
i want to be endless

 

VEINS

 

veins become roads 
stretching wide below 
never grow old 
we stay deadlocked 

take my hand 
true red bone 
take my hand 
'til we forget where we've been 

grayest wastelands 
endless roads 

time won't take us home 
away from these dying halls 

take my hand 
true red bone 
take my hand 
'til we forget where we've been 

and in the end 
there is only you and me

 

A BETTER PLACE

 

i have seen a better place 
it came with its hands open 
eyes wide in desire 
reaching out to me with phantom limbs 
pale like gossamer 
saying 
hold me now like you never could 
step into my arms 
hold me now like you never could 
forget the pain 
forget the pain

 

A DISINTEGRATION

sit down 
turn to dust 
sit down.

 

 

To HOLD THE RIPENED SUN

WE'LL BE LIFTING OUR ARMS TO THE SKY IN JOY AND WONDER

head in the ground and feet to sunrise
tongue in the festering wounds
heaving in a field of shit and flowers
the sun shines only for you

when you see the light again
I hope it fucking burns your eyes
when you find your love again
I hope it fucking hurts
like the marks that you watched them cut
on innocent flesh

know that when you die
we'll be lifting our arms to the sky in joy and wonder

 

THE HOLLOWING OF GIRLS

hollow daughter
slow dance towards the dark
fingertips in the mud
savage savior
she kisses me with teeth
writes her sins on my lips
opened up
displayed to heaven
heads conjoined, empty things

turn me inside out.

 

HOURS

bodies in summer
carrion in rivers
sweet smell of rot in the air
blood on the lips again

heavy heads
death is all around
in the summer
we watch the world unfurl

swelling up with bile
bleeding milk onto the grass
lying down with a smile
baring teeth covered in sap
baby, stay for a while
as the day heaves and turns
and the sun never dies
as the leaden ocean burns

 

FASCIA

sense of distension
you will be someone again someday
wearing your face wrong
distantly human

from the outside in

curling procession
shedding a visage
a sense of self

lost in division
someone is you now

from the outside in

 

IRTI

kolme askelta taaksepäin
takaisin valosta
viisi virstaa vasempaan
järjen talosta

nielemme tiedon ja nielemme sanat väsyneet
valheiden valossa vääntyvät varjomme hiljaa

peitä silmät sokeat
leiki, leiki tietäväistä
viisas virkkoo nopeaan
riuhtoo irti langanpäistä

 

SHRINES

she walks the air again
like a holy woman
soft is her wake
pale life lingering in her hair
grows tall (and taller still)

baby lie down
baby lie down here with me

let the shrines weigh down
let our bodies fade

 

HALFSORROW

we've been hung out to dry
swaying in the wind like, swaying in the wind like
wasted exuviae
needless most of our deeds
smaller now in real life, smaller now in real life

don't say you're harder on the outside, harder on the outside
when I tear at you
you know we're rotting from the inside, rotting from the inside out
and you're wasting your breath

don't bother weighing the whys
it's all in the design, it's all in the design
the dirt that gave birth to us
shame marks our every high
fire walks by our side, fire walks by our side (and it can't get away)

 

TO HOLD THE RIPENED SUN

cruel is the sun
in my eyes
it boils beneath my tongue
lift my wings up high
so I can revere you
break my body in two
but do it gently

lie just to be kind
let me down quietly
let me sink

and the sun is ripe in my grasp

DESTRUCTION/BREATHING/HEALING

LUNGS

breathing the blade
the blackened air
extending striae mark your burgeoning
you wear your antipathy like a king wears his crown
silver lungs sat on your shoulders

you're growing older
your life gets smaller
you're spilling over
watch it rot

sucking in air like you don't give a shit about the welt in the sky and the death that you disavow
all the high hopes that tried to manifest somehow
are lost in your lungs
lost in your lungs

you're clothed in your euphoric veil
I'm trying to make life in some other way
watch as these hands wrap tight around your neck
what is it you bleed for?

repetition of an episodic play
clapping hands and smiling like there's no hell to pay
all the actors are dead, director's been lapidated
go ahead and bow

I'm losing my sympathy
day by day
fusing faces

 

GIVER

hope is a stain in a broken mirror
so ignore everything
let your head lie
fistfuls of prayers won't undo anything out here
they curl back to the womb

I'm not a
vessel
symbol
an angel
in satan
giver
taken
woman
woman with no name
no self to take away
the other, the mother
so I turn away
back to the…

 

IN WAVES

like light and sound
we oscillate
in waves
crashing over, crashing into the dark
in waves

i sail by all these figures while eradication blooms
not held down by what hinders all life
free from the somatic self

crashing over, crashing into the dark
in waves

nothing perforates
crushing life
healing
healing

 

CATHERINE WHEEL

divine son
I love you like a car without breaks loves a wall
body wide open
inevitable and crushing

you leave me in ribbons, hanging off trees
do whatever you want with whatever is left
and my will is yours

all I know is true
is hanging by a thread I've tied to you
you're facing away
biting your tongue

you leave me in ribbons, hanging off trees
do whatever you want with whatever is left
and my will is yours

all I am
is what you want me to be

AMARE

TITANIA

running through the tide
chasing along, I let
the water take me
water take me
rushing in
like blood
moon in my veins
cutting through the quiet

undone by you, undone in violent mania
nascent and new, pulled in by my Titania

water, take me

 

COILED

I’ve got my body in a slow contortion
constrained, strung tight
I hold my head out in a clean convulsion
a shape that I can’t unbind

heavy again
I wanna be nerveless
I wanna go dark
heavy again
I wanna be moved by you

autodestructing my range of motion
all I am is ineffectual
and vertebrae by vertebrae I cut the cord
sow my shame into the bitter ground

forever coiling (coiled and alone, coiled and alone)
pitch-black void of a soul
coiled again and again
I wanna be nerveless (coiled and alone, coiled and alone)

heavy again
I wanna be nerveless
I wanna go dark
heavy again
I wanna be moved by you

 

COILED

it’s alright if you lie
‘cause you’re the new one
fresh and fake
we can ride
the way you want to be ripe

hush, hush

change with the nights
raw upon your deathbed
if you’d like I can help you fly

mayfly
come see
my love

haunt me again
ever foreign
oh, my love

hush
high
violent
aching
taste
love
for hours

 

AIR

turn to me
and love me like you lacerate
just hold me down like I don’t need
air
air
air
air


dirt and wine
are running through our open veins
like rivers rupturing the cold
air
air
air
air

don’t turn your eyes 
I’ve given once, I’ll give again
you know I need you like I need
air
air
air
air

I want
air
breathing fumes in
fuck whatever may come

turn to me
and love me like you lacerate
just hold me down like I don’t need
air
air
air
air

 

KUCHIZUKE

sharp and tempted
bright son of violence
I see your shame open wide like a flower
I want to continue to burn

leave me headless
wide-eyed and mindless
let me contort to the dark in your mind
I want to continue to burn

pale and fragmented
white sun of silence
I know its shine is for us to devour
and I want to continue to burn

raw hands that shake
aborted intake
need like a blade
cut me open with hunger
I want to continue to burn

let this be more
than what my body will hold
make your home In the emptiness straining my jaws
come lay me out
and make my body break for yours
make your home In the emptiness straining my jaws

let this be more

 

TO BE LOVED

life flows past without sound
things are sloughing off of me like shreds unwound
standing there, adored in your air
your mouth is broken but the words keep spilling out

“I wish I was
better and stronger
to hold you to me
I wish I was
wiser and older
to be what you seek”

but why would you leave me?
you’ve seen too much of it
nobody else will care
why would you leave me?
you’ve seen too much of it
nobody else will care

 

MESSIAH

eden coming
with knives for unbelievers
tide is rising
her laugh like violence, she says

“I’ll cleanse your blood with mine
enter and this fire will rise”

I’ll lay me down In the teeth of my messiah
edges blurring out
of pressure and desire

hounds are hunting
for prey in our elysium
the moon is falling
immense and crimson, she says

“I’ll take your heart in mine
enter and the dogs will bite”

I’ll lay me down In the teeth of my messiah
edges blurring out
of pressure and desire
I’ll lay me down In the teeth of my messiah
(I’ll lay me down)
edges blurring out
(I’ll lay me down)
in the teeth of my messiah

 

HOLY SOIL

all I wanted was love
to be watered in the holiest of soils
all those deified here
die here, on broken glass
twisted metal holding limbs in flightless forms

all those deified here
die here
twisted metal holding limbs in flightless forms

all I wanted was love
all I wanted was love